[camera phone model]

.from the editors room

2008-02-09T17:24:00.000-05:00

out to lunch

be back soon

.i heart

2008-01-29T13:04:00.000-05:00

dont ask me why.
but i do.
.i heart Eva Longoria
dont you???

January 24, 2008
The 32-year-old actress flew to London for the UK premiere of her new film Over Her Dead Body, and later made a detour to Manchester's MEN Arena for the Spice Girls return to the north of England.

Shopping heaven: Eva with her entourage, including hairdresser Ken Paves carry bags of shopping after Eva demanded to be taken to Topshop. Eva had been at the hotel promoting her new movie 'Over Her Dead Body' and it looked like she was enjoying herself.

.will it EVER END!!!

2008-01-29T12:49:00.000-05:00

Flavor of Love 3 [tree Kendellee...lmao]

premiering Monday, Feb. 11

will this ever end.
for sanity sake i WILL NOT be posting a long
anything on this topic.
we're in the 3rd season of Flavor of Love
below is a video of the cast

really? really VH1?

laughable

for those of you who want to know more on this travisty...lmao
check out: flavorofloveworld.com

.it's britney bxtch[es]

2008-01-29T12:33:00.000-05:00

Here’s Britney Spears on the cover of the upcoming music magazine Blender, Blender magazine admits on its cover in a ‘Truthiness Alert’: “This cover image is a composite photo. Britney did not pose for the picture. 'that is NOT her body'

The March 2008 issue of the music publication features an in-depth investigation into the troubled star’s life. The magazine hits newsstands in the US on February 12.

INSIDE:
-Britney discusses being a child star, the sole breadwinner for her family- not having a childhood just learning to balance a check book and move on.

-She speaks on her breakup with Justin: The breakup, according to those closest to Spears, began her personal collapse. “Ever since then,” says one friend, “she’s been mad at the world.”

-Chaotic and her relationship with Kevin
-On her brief time in rehab

-What will it take to save her?
Her former manager Johnny Wright says “I’m not pointing fingers, but I can’t believe that she woke up one morning and said, ‘I don’t want my family, or anyone else I knew, to be in touch with me anymore.’ “People say she needs to go to rehab. I think she just needs a friend - somebody not caught up in Hollywood, not looking for a paycheck. Somebody she trusts has to step up and break it down for her.”

.late great princess Di

2008-01-29T12:24:00.000-05:00

Scarlett Johansson is set to play Princess Diana in a film of her life. The actress is the hot favourite to take the lead role in Michael Bay’s film about the late princess’ life.

Michael thinks Scarlett would be the perfect choice to play Diana as she is a very versatile actress. Meanwhile, Scarlett is getting ready to release her debut album, Anywhere I Lay My Head. Only one of the tracks is an original composition, written by Tom Waits, while the other 10 are Scarlett’s interpretations of some of Tom’s most famous songs. The 23-year-old actress will release the 11 track LP through Atco Records on May 20.

interesting much?

all this scarlet talk will have us seeing Red pretty soon.
Good Luck Jo.

.The Hills

2008-01-29T10:51:00.000-05:00

ii so posted this like July of last year.

[on facebook]

had almost forgot about it

after watching it i found that i still laughed at it

much like the first time me and Kahila searched it online

enjoy:

maybe its just cause im just a "The Hills" kind of guy...lmao

P.S. LMBFAO @ WHITNEY's EXPRESSIONS

throwback LAGUNA BEACH spoof

"JSKa!" LMAO

.greatest night ever!

2008-01-27T13:58:00.000-05:00

wish you were there....

last night = greatest night ever.

celebrating Leon's b'day

get it boo!!!!

.neglect you, pssht never!

2008-01-22T19:03:00.000-05:00

sorry for the delay.

been a little busy.

some major moves are happening.

breifly:
brennyn was born as of yesterday.
projects, ive been up to my ears in them.
meetings, but of course.
snow, rain, and cold- in atlanta can YOU believe it>?

.be back soon

[bear with me]

.eXtra eXtra

2008-01-16T11:41:00.000-05:00

Chicago, IL and Silver Spring, MD — Tuesday, January 15, 2008 — In an unprecedented deal, Oprah Winfrey and Discovery Communications announced plans today to create OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network. The new multi-platform media venture will be designed to entertain, inform and inspire people to live their best lives. OWN will debut in 2009 in more than 70 million homes, on what is currently the Discovery Health Channel. The venture will also include the award-winning digital platform, Oprah.com

OWN's mission is to create multiple platforms for women, men and their families with a purpose and a passion: to celebrate life, to inspire and entertain, empowering viewers around the world to live their best lives, and by doing so, lift the lives of those around them in ever-widening circles.

In addition to providing her talent, and personal commitment, Winfrey will have full editorial control over the joint venture and will be responsible for OWN's programming, branding and creative vision.

OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network directly at:
9150 Wilshire Blvd.
Suite #240
Beverly Hills, CA 90069

E-mail: OWN@oprah.com

."who is it?"

2008-01-15T09:48:00.000-05:00

HAPPY B'DAY BOO!

One of the first
KaHila
grown and sexy
----
be looking out for her soon
.where the pen meets the pad

happy AKAnniversary to the ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority inc. [lets get 100 more]

.feedback

2008-01-15T09:23:00.000-05:00

Not many people are checking for Janet's video.
its not getting as much love as im sure she'd like. especially from MTv. who's haulted the viewing of Janet since the "superbowl fiasco"...anciet history right... Not to them, which is odd cause you have such shows as The Real World- who's previous season was filled with more gay bashing, anti-semitism, ignorant, steriotypical mess every week than im sure a "wardrobe malfunction" could every expose the world to >[

But I digress.

I am actually feeling the simplicity of this video. The use of ONLY three colors, black white and red (a lil bit of gold, hehe). a classic revamp. that and the pony tail which has been hot for a minte [check beyonce; get me bodied. and Tyra; past Top Model seasons]

[[The video also gave me britney oops I did it again, dont you think?]]

there has been NO oversexualization or exploitation of men or women in this video. the absence of skin might be one of the reasons many are not as receptive to the video. Me myself, i see the video playing on your own person imagination;

the story line [as i see it:] the universal chase of boy after girl =]; girl playing hard to get- while expressing standards, all the while elimitating the suitors who would want here for no reason other than the physical.

que the dance number....

the lava lamp-esk scenery

and ending on a classic Janet move fully loaded with skin tight red velvet, solo dance number and........ scene!

or maybe its just a simple video without all the hollywood frills. In any case i thought it was a job well done

.hollywood scandal

2008-01-14T15:37:00.000-05:00

They say Steroids are celebrity poison. Authorities are looking at the world of rap and R&B. A new report alleges steroid use by several entertainers, including
50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean and Tyler Perry.
(Blige’s spokesperson denies the accusation; Perry’s representation refused to comment.)

What, if anything, this has to do with the price of tea in China is unclear: Officials say that none of the celebrities have broken the law, and that for now, they’re focusing on the doctors who are prescribing the drugs, not the already beleaguered music industry. Besides, unless we’ve been misled, ‘roids don’t help you rap. And if this story’s true, they apparently don’t help you win a fake record-selling battle with Kanye West trumped up for press on September 11th, either. In other, sort of related news: NBC has been randomly testing the cast members of the network’s hit show American Gladiators in an effort to avoid just this sort of thing. In made-up, totally fake news: the WWE saw the story in this morning’s New York Post, went home and Soloflexed the tears away shortly before putting its fingers in its ears and throwing out its television set.

.hot spots: detroit, MI

2008-01-14T14:59:00.000-05:00

your new plan B

Plan B Night Club is one of the premier night spots in Detroit.

Plan B features music rangigng from Techno to Hip Hop and everything in between. When you come to Plan B, You can run with the laid-back in Confidential Lounge, located downstairs, while Plan B keeps patrons on their feet and moving to the beat. Lit-from-within stands, that serve as cocktail rest areas, become dancing platforms late in the evening and are perfect for getting your "groove on."

Plan B has hosted Jamie Foxx's Official Concert After Party as well as Timberlands B-Day Bash [to name a few]

"If you're celebrating a birthday or bachelorette party's, please let me know - I will make special arrangements for your entire group - I will reserve booths or tables for you and make sure your group is personally escorted into the bar." -owner
(313) 226-1200 for more info

While at Plan B, take the time to endulge in the "Pussycat Lounge". It is the true essence of what a VIP Section should be. [hard to get in, but once you're there. its more than worth the wait]

.dumb it down

2008-01-14T11:12:00.000-05:00

ATTENTION: Lupe Fans

myspace.com/lupefiasco

You can Catch Lupe Fiasco performing "Superstar" with Matthew Santos tonight on the "Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" on CBS! Check your local listings for time/channel information.

Lupe's new album THE COOL featuring the hit singles "Superstar" + "Paris Tokyo" and "Gold Watch" in stores & online right now!

.fr3sh

2008-01-12T14:11:00.001-05:00

FRESHJIVE presents SPRING '08
collection January 11

exclusive

Looks like Cali did it again with the majority of locations being in Califorinia, New York. Illinois, and Virginia. found a location in Georgia.

WOODYS HALFPIPE
6135 PEACHTREE PKWY #603
NORCROSS, GA
707-416-1475

.red clay chronicles

2008-01-12T12:24:00.000-05:00

Atlanta [GA] Native Anthony David

myspace.com/ANTHONYDAVID
myspace.com/theredclaychronicles

Anthony, the georgia native is doing big things in the '08 year.
already up for three Reader's Choics Awards Album of the Year, Song of the Year, and Male Vocalist of the Year for 2007
[check out SoulTracks.com]

Anthony's hit song "WORDS" performed with India Arie can be heard on V103 [in atlanta] and your local radio staton. -request it, request it, request it- beautiful beautiful song. i had first heard this song on Noah's Arc season 2. Music can make or break the mood, the writers knew what they were doing with this one. this song "WORDS"
MADE that scene.

you can also check out Anthony's podcast feature on Inside Georgia Music

Anthony has a few accomplishments under his belt [from '07] along with his Reader's Choice Awards Mr. David appeared in People Magazine as well as featured on Feb [2007] issue of Manifesto.

Mr. David's myspace page includes:
-breif [music] biography
-photo albums
-hit songs including "words"

ANTHONY DAVID: RED CLAY CHRONICLES in stores now...

.wednesday night

2008-01-10T13:50:00.000-05:00

Mychael Knight’s first K&D Suite,

sponsored by Hennessey

in downtown Atlanta.

='[

would've liked to be there

.X of all trades

2008-01-09T10:31:00.000-05:00

apparently Mr. Xzibit is to be featured in the upcomming X-Files movie
[along with Amanda Peet and Scottish comedian Bily Connolly]

according to http://www.xzibitcentral.com/:
Xzibit and Peet will play FBI agents working alongside David Duchovny's Fox "Spooky" Mulder and Gillian Anderson's Dana Scully in the second film based on Fox's hugely popular sci-fi series.

Aside from his seven-season sojourn on Pimp My Ride, Xzibit has guested in CSI: Miami and freestyled opposite Eminem in 8 Mile. More recent film roles include XXX: State of the Union with fellow Ice Cube, Derailed with Clive Owen and Gridiron Gang with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

Xzibit had been set to star opposite Bruce Willis and Woody Harrelson in Pinkville, Oliver Stone's drama about the My Lai Massacre. But that picture was shelved due to the writers' strike, allowing Xzibit to fit the X-Files sequel into his schedule. The still-untitled X-Files film is due to begin shooting later this month in Vancouver and hits theaters July 25, 2008.

X is still on his music game, dont let these movies fool you. in this day and age one hand in the fire just isint enough. X of all trades master of... we'll see. so be on the look out for X and lets count the ammount of movies [and projects] he attempts in this year...=P

Xzibit myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/xzibit

.a lil mixtape

2008-01-09T09:58:00.000-05:00

for all you KIM fans...

Here's the mixtape from the Queen Bee,
"its a hott joint" [lol]
The Mixtape is hosted by Mr Cee & DJ WhooKid,
she's giving the fans some serious heat to hold onto
until the new album drop in Feb

www.Mixunit.com
www.MixtapeKingz.com

[snippet] Kim's performance with Gucci Mane last weekend in atlanta

.mission upgrade

2008-01-08T13:03:00.000-05:00

Black two-button evening suit, $1,400, and white tux
shirt, $320, all available at Etro, NY, (212)
317-9096, etro.com; John Lobb shoes, $1,620,
available at John Lobb, NY, (212) 888-9797,
johnlobb.com

Etro
i was texting with my good friend chas about a day ago
she expressed pure disgust at the way men just "throw" themselves
together now a days. Making her want to become a stylist and specialize in men.
To that i shouted [throught a text] "Style me Chas! Style Me!"
im game, think i have as much style as the next man but im open to someone else trying to put me together [hxll celebrities do it all the time]

i was also reading through a few blogs as usual and found a post that interested me
it wasnt really the post but a few lines in the post that, summed up, saying that the author [who was male] focuses on male models in his post because fashion seems to be purely about the women. there arent many male models the average American can name off the top of his or her head.

this left an impression on me, for the most part alot of men dont know how to put themselves together past the saggin jeans or the signature polo. some shoot for the "hood ni99a" or the "Kanye" look. not really acurately pinpointing a style other than what the television give to them.

something to think about.

but of course in defense of all of this, i double back to the second paragraph.
[black] Men are not always seen on television dressed nice or even being taught how to pick out a suit, tie a tie, or even getting their waist measured. all of this is pretty much seen as GAY, and we all know how HIp HOp hates the gays...
[another story for another day]
Now dont get me confused. im not saying that there isint ANYTHING like it out there just that your averge Joe isint really looking for it. And thats what you have to do, LOOK for it.

i mean really, you can turn on the televeision and see fighting [professional and reality television fighting], sex scenes, live surgeries, people eating parts of animals that you dont even know the names of, talk shows up the wahzoo [lol].

Ralph Lauren Black Label, Dolce and Gabbana, Prada

its a new year,
do what you want.
what makes you happy.
just try to be open to a few suggestions:

men.style.com

.enter: the new year

2008-01-07T19:00:00.000-05:00

been away for a minute,

hence the gap in time between last post...

...and the four below

forgive me, its the new year.

thanks =/

.perception

2008-01-07T18:49:00.000-05:00

Past few days...

good?

[dakota's] spending quality time with-- [we'll just say 'him']
helping make a decision. Im in love,
there's no doubt about that.
Guess i was trying to find out where we stood

when?

[as of now]

who knows. am i jealous of anyone else who has his time?
possibly, all I know is he makes me feel so many things,
so many
Im his shawty, Loving him is my job...

my head hurts
for not saying what im actually saying. [the truth]
what am i to do?

."bah hummbug!"

2008-01-07T18:43:00.000-05:00

the most beautiful girl in the world
Deecember 25^th i'm grown ( lol )

waking up in my own bed, in my old room.
looking out the window at the snow on the ground
gives me a warm feeling inside

im happy with my life
Love my family
Christmas isint about the gifts for me anymore,
its about the family
and the food

just then i get a gift,
one i wasn't expecting...

Plastic =D

thanks mom.

.21 years, 6month & 1day

2008-01-07T18:40:00.000-05:00

I love him for making an effort

i love him for wht he's done.
its shocking, it was unexpected.
i still dont understand itbut i love him formaking an effort

Merry Christmas dad

.enter: the clouds

2008-01-07T18:34:00.000-05:00

its a little after 3:04
my third plan ride

uh, not nearly as bad as i thought
pridefully i admit, i was a lil nervous about flying

--its the take off.

my overactive imagination made riding a rollercoaster synomonous
with a plane's take off...lol

^{. . .}

this is really cool.
nothing to panic about =/
calm-still hungry but
calm =P

i feel heavy
gravity giving me my third lap dance
above the clouds
nothing but smooth sailing from here.

.boarding [i'll] pass

2007-12-20T18:50:00.000-05:00

1:42pm [tuesday]

sitting at gate c7.
at gate c7 with my A. Hamilton chic swagga going on [lol]
about an hour and some change until my flight departs

I'm a little mad that i left so early,
i couldve spent an extra hour cleaning my room.
Looks like '08 will be off to a semi-clean start.

the smell of fast food dances with my nose
im not deathly hungry...but my hunger sure is growing
with nothing but $1.95 in nickles and dimes to my name

i sit

flight 246
Gate c7
zone 7
depart time 3:04pm

.and then there were three

2007-12-19T00:25:00.000-05:00

the clock says 8:37pm, its a Tuesday
it feels mor like 3:30am on a Sunday

I wake up drowning in a pool of what else, clothes
time is breathing down my neck.
my flight is in less than 24hours and my room still isint clean,
my stomach is touching my back [im hungry], and i still havent packed.
All I have gotten accomplished today is moving my bed around,
washing clothes, and finding something to wear that matches the Anthony Hamilton style ive been roqk.ing over the last few days.

[priorities priorities priorities]
-Airport Tomorrow-

Fast Foward to 11:01pm (tonight) sitting in the room
talking with Jeremy,

So, what've you got done now?

"well..." i hesitate

talked with kendellee, texted kelly and destiny, watched clash of the choirs [shout out to Pattie Pattie], did some reading and I still haven't packed.

Starting to question if i really want to make this trip.

Getting on the twelve shuttle,
to get to the three o clock plane,
to reach down at five something.
Life of a jet setter can be exhausting

.i got the golden ticket

2007-12-17T14:09:00.000-05:00

its december 7teenth and im spent [already].
so much of my energy for the last few days has gone into trying to get back to a city that im not to found of right now, especially in this not so pleasent winter season.

heading to the airport Wednesday. so long altanta.
it's like six degrees here, but if im complaining about this
what will fli city be like?
Dxmn you winter; you bring boots handbags coats and hats
but you take away the warmth necessary to enjoy the look fully.
oh well.
guess ill just have to wrap up a lil tighter this holiday
if i still rememeber how. [after all this time...lol]
i know the snow is there but somehow it's still going to be a shock.

looking foward to taking that walk down memory lane.
partying it up with the best of the...well with old friends
"you ready Karen" lqtm
seeing my innocent neice again after all this time.
and some good ol fashion home cookin...lol

Wednesday...

.Strangr A.

2007-12-17T12:52:00.000-05:00

theartofstrange.blogspot.com

.this man

2007-12-16T16:55:00.000-05:00

This man i know is growing weary, of having to be strong.
of having to pretend he's made of stone, of having to make believe he's not alone.
of pretending that there's someone when he comes home... alas there's no one there to listen, not one person there to heal his wounds when he's hurt, as he has done for so many before. No one there to say the important things that he already knows but would like to hear every now and then.
you see fear is not the issue,
because he'd much rather let someone in,
open his heart and let down his guard...
needing someone to stop him from singing his solider song

There is a man who loves the dark.
Once The Sunsets Over The World, The Night Begins.
The Dark Describes His Personality. Mysterious, Yet Calm
The Night Is Cool, Calming and Romantic.
The Night Is Personal and Intimate.
He Thinks Better At Night Because While Everyone Is Asleep, So Is Chaos And Mayhem.
The Night Is Beautiful And Sexy.
Bright Stars Dance Against The Black Backlit Sky.
The Moon Smiles Upon The Ocean Casting A Cool, Calming Glow Abroad.
The Night Makes You Wanna Hold Someone That You Love.
Kiss Someone That You Love.
Make Love To The One You Love.
The Night Is The Perfect Cure To The Busy Day.
Just Sit Back, Relax And Enjoy.
Life Moves To Fast. Sometimes Its Good To Sit Back And Reflect.
Just You And The Night.

So he does...

.giving me an earful

2007-12-16T16:41:00.000-05:00

You say you're looking for a real ass nigga.
You say you're a real ass shorty looking for a nigga that you can fall in love with. A nigga you can sit at home and cake it wit. A nigga who aint just after the ass, aint after it but when he does get it, he knows what hes doing.
You say you're looking for ambitious niggas thats got something going for themselves and like Shareefa say.......You Need A Boss.
You tell me "do be warned......I only want real niggas only, and no p*ssy niggas...... cause you can be replaced"
You say that's just your style, you tell me not to get it twisted and think for a second that you're going to settel for less...

I tell you I'm not a nigga.
I tell you to stop looking for Love
I open my home to you, I can cake it with the best of em'
I explain to you im not just after the ass and assure to when that time comes I know what I'm doing.
I show you my talents and share with you my ambitions and dreams and like John Legend says....."I will stay with you as each morning brings sunrise"
I tell you yet again, "I AM NOT a nigga real or otherwise, I have no false pride when it comes to my appearance; and that little thought you hade about possibly replacing me: you be warned THAT is NEVER easy"
I see you and your style I see we compliment each other, and hear me loud and clear, when this starts going neither of us will be settling for less...

.iRemember

2007-12-16T16:10:00.000-05:00

With the drop of the last teardrop I now understood how I could loose the one lost.

Forced to experience disappointment at an early age, I silently vowed to never allow myself to feel that love-stricken insanity ever again. This pledge to myself would stand true untill those tears that were held back all that time ago were released once more.
In all that time I never came close to another. I was unable to, for my tears became my Scarlet Letter.The letter that I seemed to always wear that would always remind me of the pain. It would seem that I was unable to heal.

I'd forgotton about my pledge and once again fallen into my own lustful infatuation but this time it was real and unharming. This feeling welcomed me wiht open arms and to this day I welcome Love in it's most complex forms, for it is said that:

it's better to have Loved and lost then to never have Loved at all...

.recipe for success

2007-12-16T15:53:00.000-05:00

...First of all.

get rid of caring about ANYone but you for a minute. Your friends, parent, family, job all that [just for a minute] Then you look at YOU and YOUR LIFE and what will MAKE YOU HAPPY. When you figure out a few things that you want to make you happy [you dont have to know ALL of it right away] then you put everyone BACK into the equation. See how to obtain your goals and concentrate on that. Dont focus on everyone els you have to do whats right for you. Now you should take your parents into consideration but dont let them take you over. You're a man/woman now, your able to decide what it is that you want. but still be reasonable. All in all focus on your happiness. if you have to cut some people out to get it then so be it.
IF your friends cant accept that you're trying to better yourself you dont need them ANYways...

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt.
Because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

.glamor and glitter, fashion and fame

2007-12-16T15:49:00.001-05:00

i heart photography cha...YAH!

Models:
Leon
Chas
Ken

.call me

2007-12-16T15:10:00.000-05:00

au•ton•o•mous

Pronunciation: (ô-ton'u-mus), [key]
—adj.
1. Govt.
a. self-governing; independent; subject to its own laws only.
b. pertaining to an autonomy.
2. having autonomy; not subject to control from outside; independent: a subsidiary that functioned as an autonomous unit.
3. Biol.
a. existing and functioning as an independent organism.
b. spontaneous

.i sit, i reflect, i write

2007-12-16T15:02:00.000-05:00

I love to sit around an do nothing.

although shortly after i sit i feel like i'm wasting time, so i get up and do something.

although i find i can sit still and listen to music. i love to draw.

i love my friends. love them as much or a little more than my [biological] family,

(or maybe I just love them LIKE they were my biological family-in any case)

i [kinda] think that's a little wrong of me but hey.

love to write about my days and little things that happen around me,

people watching (i LOVE to people watch=]) I can appreciate the beauty in darn near ANYone

i also love the south, maybe it's because i'm from there who knows.

: If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible

i'm a little crazy if given the opportunity to go crazy.

i tend to go too far sometimes but so is life. (a little crazy that is)

who am i: Fashion addict, Glamor Whore, an all around kool guy, fashion student residing in the wonderful Technicolor Dreamland that is my imagination. fl! city is where i'm from. the Haute Atlanta is where I am until further notice...

.once upon a time

2007-12-16T14:29:00.001-05:00

I Love the man I used to be....
...Every step he took was leading up to the man I am today.

Im here,

Whats up with this preference and these feelings? Im sure its the question many would like to ask but... Why? Why would you like to know the answer? Is knowing my take on my own life going to somehow improve the quality of your own? I mean I can make excuses for how I feel. I cant take back what ive done.
Funny thing, everyone like to feel that they are in control of their own lives, and when we feel out of control we do whatever it takes to regain it; or even a false sense of it. Some people cut themselves to regain control, others vomit, some even abuse others.
I cant say for sure but I guess these feelings in the beginning were my way of having control, regaining control. But in the end I have found, if not all of myself, a good portion of what I like. I mean im still learning about myself but who isint? Im 21 sure I might know what my favorite color or movie is but im still evolving. The man I am today is different from the man I was yesterday and different from the man I will be tomorrow.
These feelings are something that I own. They are a part of me. They do not define me. They are mearly a piece of what makes up the man you're reading before you. I am capable of Love on many levels.
Where's that perfect world where there's no violence and stress and strife. I know now that that world is nonexistant. It never existed. Innocence is reserved the unwilling and helpless. I own my distinctive emotions and attractions that the world cant seem to comprehend. Having to watch what I say and do, im always on call. Many different roles I am called to play but no one seems to appreciate them.
Sometime it get hard, but in the face of everything you have to press on. No one can ever see you naked. My eyes are glossed over with the hatred of the world. The images I have seen, the things I have heard, the horrific thoughts that plague me everyday. No one knows my pain, nor would I want them to.
With all this weighing heavily on my mind and body 24 hours a day, 365 days a year it's a suprise I havent went completly crazy but in order to go crazy I would have to have a complete loss of control, everyone likes to feel that they are in control of their own lives, and when we feel out of control we do whatever it takes to regain it.

Im still here...

.i am creole

2007-12-16T14:18:00.000-05:00

deriving from the Latin creare, meaning
"to beget" or "create."
After the New World's [unrealistic] discovery,
Portuguese colonist used the word
crioulo
to denote a New World slave of African descent.

.ai is my hobby

2007-12-16T14:06:00.000-05:00

fashion and retail management. African [american] studies and the effects of material perishables on the African [american] psyche. Concentration being on the youth; touching on the haves and the have nots.